I wrote this vignette years ago as I remembered my younger sister's obsession with making Barbie and Ken kiss. Ruth owned the Barbie we all envied because of the hair that reached her ankles (until my older sister, Rebecca cut it). I had a Ken doll with the misnomer "Great Shape Ken" because within days he lost an arm permanently (and I prided myself on treating my possessions with the utmost care). We pretended he lost his arm in Vietnam. We renamed him "Vietnam Vet Ken." Ruth didn't own a Ken so her Barbie had to date him. Rebecca (eldest) had the blond & blue eyed Ken. I also owned the "Heart Family Ken" who came with a wife, son, and daughter. I was always frustrated with Ruth for her lack of plot when we played Barbies. All her Ken and Barbie ever did was kiss which eventually resulted in the loss of Barbie's neck. Here is what I wrote:
Overexposure to soap operas at a young age can lead to serious side effects. Namely, the loss of Barbie doll heads. "Exotic Beauty Floor-Length-Blonde-Haired Barbie" lost her head after a prolonged period of mouth to mouth with "Great Shape One-Armed Vietnam Vet Ken." All was not lost. Her head was recovered and repositioned, but unfortunately, she continues to suffer from necklessness.
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12 comments:
You are too funny Mary. Did I really cut her Barbie's hair? I did go through a hair styling stage.
I do think you cut it at least to knee-length, but double check with Ruth. I remember the layered look you gave my blonde Barbie. I think I learned from that. You'll recall that I never let my "Heart Family" Barbie become an experiment for the budding stylist in you. Didn't your "Becky" doll lose her lovely red curls during your "hair styling stage"?
ok, I was very young then, about 5.
As I got older I played church and "singing in the chior" with all of the Barbies. I was able to play with them alone because I would ask Mary for them as she was sleeping, so she did not even know.
However I think that the pretty blonde learned that beauty is only for a time.
So, Ruth, you do admit to getting my permission while I was sleeping. How could you live with your conscience as you "played church" with my Barbies? ;-)
In Ruth's defense, I will be writing about some things she did that are not reflective of who she is now. Sorry, Ruth, it is just too funny to resist. I love you!
Hmmm... I believe I just learned that our boys will need to see an actual barber as they grow.
Thanks for the heads-up, Mary.
No problem, Brian. Is there anything else you want to know?
For all you who wish to see my wife's barber skills... Click here for a gif of her mangled doll
Thanks for the pictures of Rebecca's Becky doll. That is too funny! She actually did a decent job if you like the 80's Dorothy Hammil look, but I preferred Becky with longer hair.
I loved stying Ruthie's hair, but, of course, I never cut it. I did do a decent job with my Becky doll as it was the 80's when I cut it. Now, I think I did a less appealing job on my blonde barbie.
Mary,
I got your link this evening and started reading your blog. I began with your post about the student, the bunny and the cross. I enjoyed it and since I am very ADD, decided to send a link to my daughter, son, daughter-in-law and brother. Then, I saw the post title that read "Barbie's Beheading." It was as entertaining as the Easter one was thought provoking. I thought Dwight was the only comedian in the family. : ) Keep writing!
Judy,
Thanks for your comment and compliment on my writing and humor. I love to use humor in my writing. His sense of humor is one of my favorite things about Dwight. Even when I'm angry with him, I try to think of at least one positive thing about him and it is usually his humor that comes to mind first. I'm excited and flattered that you would share my blog with your family.
Brian you are too funny!! I loved the pictures of Becky doll. Rebecca did a good job of cutting her hair. Much better I would say than the "Egyptian" haircuts my girls all got from me till Connie stepped in and rescued them.
MOM
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